15 March 2007

what i do at work all day

so help me god, this is all true. put it together today, sent the email to about fifty or sixty people on my floor, and bcc'd people in other big brother offices around the country. the original email had pics and colorful fonts of different sizes, but that's like 'advanced' blogger, and i'm still a beginner.

i honestly can't believe i haven't been fired for my antics yet.

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Is there anything better than Mac and Cheese? Rhetorical question... of course there isn't. So what better way to welcome spring (!) and foster floor unity than a good, old-fashioned competition...

What: Mac and Cheese Cook-Off

Where: Same place as our birthday / anniversary breakfasts

When: High Noon, Friday the Thirteenth (of April)

Prizes* awarded on categories below:

Truest to Form
Mac and Cheese in its most empirical form... no add-ins, just Mac, and Cheese (and the ingredients for which the box calls, like butter and milk.) Maybe 'Mac' means rice noodles... Maybe 'Cheese' means gouda or brie. Either way, you only have two types of ingredients with which to work (but you can use multiple ingredients, i.e., several cheeses, etc.) Heck, maybe you just open a box, boil up some elbow-shaped goodness, and add milk, butter, and day-glo orange powder like no one's business. That's fine, too.

Sassiest
Maybe it's a family secret from the old country... maybe it involves Fritos and cracked pepper (yum)... maybe you sneak vegetables in it... the possibilities are endless... no judgments here, and no rules at all.

Prettiest Presentation
Ok, Emeril, maybe you want to pay tribute to our founder and get silly with food coloring to the company's colors (please don't...) maybe you want to make a scale replica of [a famous item]... maybe you will put your masterpiece in a round dish and make a smiley face with olives... whatever it is, get wacky and get creative!

Rules:
1. This must be made by you or a loved one. You may not outsource this to your grocer's freezer section, a deli, a restaurant, Fresh Direct, Zone Chefs, or professional chef friends. That would be food plagiarism, and food plagiarism is bad.
2. Keep portions smallish: this is a tasting, you are not providing lunch for the floor.
3. Be prepared to give your ingredient list upon request; food allergies can be a bummer.

Beverages, plates, and flatware (serving, too) will be provided. In the interest of the environment, BYOM (bring your own mug), as this is a Styrofoam-free event.

So... light your stoves... dust off your cookbooks... get creative... call granny... and get ready to wow your friends on nine... and place bets** on whether Ingrid's or Rob's group will take the most prizes...

Please let me know if you have any questions, and may the best chefs win!

--T

*Prizes awarded means a certificate saying, 'Wow, my coworkers think I make pretty darn tootin' good [or pretty] mac and cheese.'
**The Mac and Cheese Cook-Off Committee (MCCOC) neither condones nor encourages illicit gambling.

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Thomas ...
Founder and Chair, [big brother] MCCOC

14 March 2007

cops shot?

what? there are helicopters and screeching sirens and such outside ye olde flop house... first rats at taco bell, now media and who the fuck knows what.

what?