and i'll miss you both, dearly

sadly, as bigbossman got demoted to being merely bossman, he, most sadly and understandably, saved his pride and resigned today making him nonbossman. i will miss him, as will just about every person at big brother with the exception of the nasty ones who put him in that position. very sad, he's a good bigbossman, i wish him the best, and i hope our paths cross professionally some day.

and this is it for a bit, kids: tomorrow is the day that the tod bump project of 2005 gets removed or corrected or whatever a surgeon does with a hernia. (actually, i know the answer to this, they gave me a book that is FAR too graphic for my wussy ass, but i'll spare you...) it's my grand opening, if you will, so i'll be away from this here bloggy-thing for a teensy weensy bit. and getting ducks in a row are why many of you haven't gotten emails lately. apologies, but i'll be in touch soon, i promise. good-bye, dear tod bump project of 2005. i'll miss you in an odd way even though you suck. (like remember that time at the beach in august when i was showing you off to everyone and i got the whole, 'dude you're a freak! what the hell is that thing?!' nobody's ever said that to me before. i feel like we really connected. you and me against the world.) i'll miss you, man.

i won't be away long, my dears, for i'll have wifi at marge's where i'll be playing valley of the dolls whilst enjoying the october sun and the big, squishy (albeit dumb as a rock) sheepdogs. and i get a cool scar! shall i name it todd two after you? or tod one because it's because of you? hmm. anyway, i'm thrilled to be getting so many days from work to rest in a haze, this should be part of any corporate american firm's benefits package: at least two weeks, in addition to your vacation/sick/personal/floating time, to tune in and drop out.

stay beautiful, my friends--

what a bizarre day

in a nutshell...

1. big bossman, recall: newly demoted, just didn't show up for work today. no calls, smoke signals, emails, nothing. many of us think this was his notice.

2. my coworkers do everything in their powers to make my life more difficult. i sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, believe this.

3. marge found out that when a misdirected yahoo aims at her, her mercedes bends. poor dear. i'm all, 'lawsuit! lawsuit! lawsuit!' but she's all conciliable and on the up and up. blegh. glad she's ok: half-orphan is quite enough for 28. full orphan would send me to the funny farm.

4. not oft seen friend of mine calls and invites me out for a drink. after this inane day, i go. thought it would be best to walk from midtown to downtown, to decompress, but it involved passing through such depths of hell as times square and penn station. (if god had an enema, he's stick it there... tourists, this is NOT new york city.) get to the bar, saw a not oft seen is-he-or-isn't-he coworker who was very much enjoying his drink... ahem... and exchanged kisses and handshakes with friends. it was lovely. i accompany my friend out for a smoke and realize my bag is inside and proceed to have the same panic attack i've had one thousand times before... that, 'if, heavens forbid, your cel, wallet, or keys were stolen or lost, and you had to pick which, which would you choose?' feeling. i waver about this... i think cel, but don't know. you?

there is a reason.

i am a big believer in fate: everything happens for a reason. i believe this. the people we meet, the jobs we have, the interactions on the street, everything happens for a reason. call me naive, but this view on the world most certainly keeps me going.

i only took up running about five years ago. not, mind you, because i LOVED the idea of running. after college, i snuck into my university's gym for well over a year after i graduated. the guards all waved me past the entrance, and i smiled and bought them coffee and talked to them and was, genuinely, all shades of chummy. well, one day, the head guard, darryl, told me he was going back to his family and his country and the next day this new prick took his spot. i guess i was hoping that one of the other regulars would take it, but not so much: new guy wanted to see my current student id., which i clearly didn't have. i persisted and tried to talk my way out of it, but he called the supervisor who told me that not only was the campus for current students, but, noting my shorts in december, that the gym was for current students and *paying alumni.* i was crushed. my free ride had ended. so. sad.

so, the next morning, i awoke at the ass-crack of dawn and ran for the first time around my little neighborhood. and, over time, i got relatively good at it-- who knew. during my lunch hours a few days a week, as you'll note, i'll do the loop in central park. about two weeks ago, i ran, not literally, into a guy with whom i went to high school. he, my dears, was the track star for the year ahead of mine. the package: smart, really handsome, and an all around nice guy. and, like i said, the track star. there i was back in the day with the unfortunate hair, poor social skills, and, well, i wasn't running. but there HE was, at the very yummy smelling, but naaaaaaaaaasty, street vendor 'meat' cart getting the 'meat' product du jour. and i'm careening from the gym to central park and pushing out of my way little old ladies and mothers with strollers and corporate executives, and, well, him. we locked eyes. i looked away. he looked at my legs and back at my face (and in the last ten years, grew a buddha.) clearly we recognized each other. i kept going trying to remember his last name (it finally clicked around cat hill). the following monday, same guy, same cart of meat, and same stare. do i say something? like my friend from the subway a few posts ago, he was not only one of the cool kids, but he was all shades of wholesome. now, he has that look that kevin spacey had in american beauty, that clearly-sold-out-and-angry-about-it look. that, 'i wish i had a job that afforded me the opportunity to run on my lunch hours, too' look.'

and here i sit on the railroad coming back from marge's after a day at the beach (it won't be lovely for too much longer, kids), and who gets on but the track star. (looking fine in a suit ;-) one more viewing and i'm going to give in to fate and say hello. there is a reason we've crossed paths...